2013 is almost gone. I had totally forgotten about my blog until I clicked on a link in a friend's e-mail. It took me to her blog. Thought...what happened to my blog? It's still here; I've just not been showing up. I took a look at previous posts and noticed the one entitled "Goals." Let's see how I did:
1. Read the Bible in it's entirety. I've read 20% of it in 15 days. Completed
2. Do a joint Bible study with the hubby. We started one this week. Well, we started one together, but we haven't finished it yet.
3. Attempt to let my husband be the head of our household. I'm really struggling on this one. I think I'm going to fail.....I am giving it a valiant effort. I now acknowledge my husband as head of house.
4. Prepare myself for a career change. I meet someone tomorrow to work on that. I quit my job, and I should be studying for this test next Friday to pursue my degree in financial planning.
5. Lose 30 lbs and focus on being healthy. I'm down 11 lbs, but I think I've hit a plateau already. Sigh. Okay...I did lose 30 lbs, but I put 15 back on. It does not take much for me to gain weight, but at least when I get started I can do it. My goal is to net -20 lbs before the end of the year.
6. Call my Grandma at least once a month. I always have such great conversations with her. Ooh...this was a goal, huh? Put this on my reminder list.
7. Become better equipped financially. Working on it (Debt Slayers 2013)! We're Debt FREEEEEEEE!!!!!! We also have a 6 months emergency fund with an additional $7k toward a home. What what?!
8. Show love to people more often. Volunteering more often would be a great start. I should stop to talk to Clayton and Freddie more often. (I think Freddie may be crushing on me. He gives me that "Hey Gurl!" wave in the mornings and then asks for change. He could just want the money.....) I no longer see Clayton and Freddie in the morning since the move. However, I'm not volunteering like I want. It will be on the list for 2014.
9. Worry less. Child boo! I do love and trust you Lord, but you know your child. Still working on this.
10. Cook more. Read comment above.
11. Do something with my hair! I've been rocking the same style since I've been natural. I guess I'm overdue for a change. I really and truly am over hair. I just could not care less. I'm cutting it after winter. Why spend my life dealing with this madness?!?!?
Okay so 5 (two adding up to .5 each) out of 11. Not the score card I wanted, but the major things were accomplished. Goals are necessary in life. I used to hate the idea of resolutions, but I see the purpose in writing them down on January 1st. It gives us something to at least think about and work towards. If nothing else, we have to work on not procrastinating or being inconsistent since our lists are probably very similar to previous lists. I don't know what I want for 2014, but me and the hubs will sit down and figure it out. Until then, I'm going to enjoy the free time, family, friends, and fun. Did you like my alliteration? Lol
Merry Christmas!!!
Thursday, December 12, 2013
Sunday, August 11, 2013
Butting In...We Probably Should Do It More Often
(I wrote this the third week of July and forgot to post it.)
This morning, I received an e-mail from a friend who was lovingly "butting in". I informed a group of my friends yesterday about my 13 year old nephew searching for pornography in my home. I was past livid. I was "turnt up"! I was extremely upset with my nephew because I could not believe that he would betray our trust, lie to us about his actions, and also defy our rules. The thing that hurt me the most really was the lying. My husband walked in on my nephew as he was watching porn on a system that we put in his room so that he could enjoy playing games and watching movies that we had approved for him. I was upset with myself because I kept meaning to turn on the parental controls, and I just kept forgetting or was too tired to concern myself with it. He had only been with us for three days at this point, and all he talked about was World War II and asked to go to the bookstore. I've always thought of my nephew as a little nerd, but he is still a 13 year old nerd whose face and new height show the signs of puberty. This is not how this trip was supposed to go.
Monday night, Dan came into the living room with the power supply for the XBox, and I knew, but I thought it had to be something else. I was right. I was so upset that I was shaking. My nephew was being beaten within an inch of his life in my head after I heard Dan tell me what happened. I told him to come out, and I asked him what did he do. He lied and said "I ain't do nothing." This put fuel on my already sky high flame. I yelled at this point. I was trying to avoid it, but it was happening. At that point, I informed him to take a shower and go to bed. We did a search and found out that he had actually searched for porn the first night he was in our home. It was the very same day that the rules were laid down and broken within a matter of hours. I often stood up for him when others thought he was lying, and every time we found out he was telling the truth. I know why he lied, but that didn't make things better. I sobbed because I felt like I had failed my parents in being a responsible guardian for him and that I had failed to protect him from this. I know he had already done this before but still. Children should not have access to the vices of this world as easily as they do to a candy store, and I didn't do my part in preventing this.
While talking to my friends about this, their sentiments seemed to be in line with mine. Shock, anger, disappointment and a need to ensure our freedom by not killing pubescent people. However, one friend expressed another sentiment to me this morning. It was about ensuring that children just don't have a fear of parents, but ensuring that they have a fear of God. She informed me how living under the iron fist of her parents led her to go "buckwild" when she went off to college. On her own, she was able to do whatever she wanted to do and didn't need to worry about fearing her parents. This is a story that I was familiar with in regards to other people. It's not uncommon to hear about college students going crazy when they leave the eyes of their parents. At the end of her e-mail, she apologized if I thought it was butting in, but she needed to say something. I agree with her. It's why she is in my life. I appreciate people who feel that they need to add a different perspective to a situation because many times we don't look at how our actions fully impact others. I e-mailed her back and thanked her for her words of advice. I informed her that although I almost killed my nephew, I stayed away from him because...well, I was going to KILL HIM!!! I also didn't want to say anything that was too hurtful given that he's been through a lot in his short life, and it wasn't going to be productive.
That night, Dan explained to him that the trip was over. He was on punishment. Dan was patient and he waited until my nephew finally admitted what he did and was fully honest about it as well. My nephew has since continued to lie about things that we have caught him doing. He attempted to go into our bedroom closet to get his book about the presidents, but he didn't know that we had put tape and tissue on the door to tell if he attempted to get into the closet. Also he's pretty weak, so he was unable to move the heavy hamper that we had placed behind the door as well as a second barrier. Yes, we will be those type of parents. The tissue was torn on Tuesday, and our line of trust was broken again. Since Monday, we have spent quite a bit of time discussing the importance of telling the truth. Last night we had a breakthrough because he came clean about a lot things that he had been keeping as a secrets. Most of his secrets really aren't secrets. I mentioned earlier that my nephew has gone through a lot in his short life, and he informed us about how those things have impacted him. I'm not sure if he needs a clinical therapist, but he definitely needs to talk to someone. It'll take time, but we'll be patient and get him to where he needs to be.
To wrap all of this up, butting in isn't always a bad thing. If more people butted in, lives may be saved, mistakes avoided, and lives could be transformed. Most people shy away from saying anything because they don't want to offend someone or convince themselves that it isn't their business. I think we always need to be respectful when giving unsolicited advice, but we have a responsibility to help each other be great people.
Thanks Love for butting in. It is appreciated.
This morning, I received an e-mail from a friend who was lovingly "butting in". I informed a group of my friends yesterday about my 13 year old nephew searching for pornography in my home. I was past livid. I was "turnt up"! I was extremely upset with my nephew because I could not believe that he would betray our trust, lie to us about his actions, and also defy our rules. The thing that hurt me the most really was the lying. My husband walked in on my nephew as he was watching porn on a system that we put in his room so that he could enjoy playing games and watching movies that we had approved for him. I was upset with myself because I kept meaning to turn on the parental controls, and I just kept forgetting or was too tired to concern myself with it. He had only been with us for three days at this point, and all he talked about was World War II and asked to go to the bookstore. I've always thought of my nephew as a little nerd, but he is still a 13 year old nerd whose face and new height show the signs of puberty. This is not how this trip was supposed to go.
Monday night, Dan came into the living room with the power supply for the XBox, and I knew, but I thought it had to be something else. I was right. I was so upset that I was shaking. My nephew was being beaten within an inch of his life in my head after I heard Dan tell me what happened. I told him to come out, and I asked him what did he do. He lied and said "I ain't do nothing." This put fuel on my already sky high flame. I yelled at this point. I was trying to avoid it, but it was happening. At that point, I informed him to take a shower and go to bed. We did a search and found out that he had actually searched for porn the first night he was in our home. It was the very same day that the rules were laid down and broken within a matter of hours. I often stood up for him when others thought he was lying, and every time we found out he was telling the truth. I know why he lied, but that didn't make things better. I sobbed because I felt like I had failed my parents in being a responsible guardian for him and that I had failed to protect him from this. I know he had already done this before but still. Children should not have access to the vices of this world as easily as they do to a candy store, and I didn't do my part in preventing this.
While talking to my friends about this, their sentiments seemed to be in line with mine. Shock, anger, disappointment and a need to ensure our freedom by not killing pubescent people. However, one friend expressed another sentiment to me this morning. It was about ensuring that children just don't have a fear of parents, but ensuring that they have a fear of God. She informed me how living under the iron fist of her parents led her to go "buckwild" when she went off to college. On her own, she was able to do whatever she wanted to do and didn't need to worry about fearing her parents. This is a story that I was familiar with in regards to other people. It's not uncommon to hear about college students going crazy when they leave the eyes of their parents. At the end of her e-mail, she apologized if I thought it was butting in, but she needed to say something. I agree with her. It's why she is in my life. I appreciate people who feel that they need to add a different perspective to a situation because many times we don't look at how our actions fully impact others. I e-mailed her back and thanked her for her words of advice. I informed her that although I almost killed my nephew, I stayed away from him because...well, I was going to KILL HIM!!! I also didn't want to say anything that was too hurtful given that he's been through a lot in his short life, and it wasn't going to be productive.
That night, Dan explained to him that the trip was over. He was on punishment. Dan was patient and he waited until my nephew finally admitted what he did and was fully honest about it as well. My nephew has since continued to lie about things that we have caught him doing. He attempted to go into our bedroom closet to get his book about the presidents, but he didn't know that we had put tape and tissue on the door to tell if he attempted to get into the closet. Also he's pretty weak, so he was unable to move the heavy hamper that we had placed behind the door as well as a second barrier. Yes, we will be those type of parents. The tissue was torn on Tuesday, and our line of trust was broken again. Since Monday, we have spent quite a bit of time discussing the importance of telling the truth. Last night we had a breakthrough because he came clean about a lot things that he had been keeping as a secrets. Most of his secrets really aren't secrets. I mentioned earlier that my nephew has gone through a lot in his short life, and he informed us about how those things have impacted him. I'm not sure if he needs a clinical therapist, but he definitely needs to talk to someone. It'll take time, but we'll be patient and get him to where he needs to be.
To wrap all of this up, butting in isn't always a bad thing. If more people butted in, lives may be saved, mistakes avoided, and lives could be transformed. Most people shy away from saying anything because they don't want to offend someone or convince themselves that it isn't their business. I think we always need to be respectful when giving unsolicited advice, but we have a responsibility to help each other be great people.
Thanks Love for butting in. It is appreciated.
Onward to Baby Step 4!
Team Watkins, aka Debt Slayers 2013, is moving onward to Baby Step 4. So what is Baby Step 4? Well, here are the Baby Steps:
Baby Step 1- $1,000 saved for emergency fund
Baby Step 2- Debt snowball (Get out of debt plan)
Baby Step 3- Save 3 to 6 months living expenses
Baby Step 4- Save 15% of your income for retirement
Baby Step 5- Save for kids' college
Baby Step 6- Pay off the mortgage
Baby Step 7- Build wealth and give
The Baby Steps are simple enough on paper. It's a logical progression/plan to try and ensure a strong financial future, but it's not easy at first. I've written before about how behavior modification is key to this program. It's actually key to achieving most things in life. We wouldn't be able to get to Baby Step 4 if we hadn't gotten our stuff together and started acting like adults with out money. Because we got it together, I feel confident in our financial future even on one income.
As of late, I have been wanting to take out a credit card and CHARGE!!! I've been buying a lot of unplanned stuff that was needed after we moved, so August's budget has been a bust. Since it's been a bust, my mind has been like, eh what's another $20? It's another $20 is what it is! However, I know the ramifications of those actions, and we are on Baby Step 4 looking towards buying a home soon. We had our monthly budget meeting, and now we are back on track. It's just goes to show that the plan is not fool proof. It's not perfect because we're not perfect. However, I don't have to use my credit cards to get the things I need and want. We just come up with a plan for it.
For the first time ever, we may max out our Roth IRA's. I've always wanted to do it, so now I don't know what to do with myself. I'm quite eager to see if we can do it by April 2014. Oh the things that I get excited about now. Maxing out Roth's, babies, and Heath Bar ice cream! Lol.
- Faithwalking for Life
I Am Happy
I was riding down the road today with my Daniel, and it hit me.... I am happy. I've not been this happy in years. I really don't think I've been this happy since my wedding day (10/12/08). I have been happy about things, people, events, but I have not been happy. I am unemployed and awaiting an appointment on Wednesday to see if I need surgery, and I am happy. I woke up on August 5th, and I was a little depressed because for the first time in nearly four years, I didn't have a job. I listened to the phone calls of many who were trying to have what I had, and I walked away from it. For what? I walked away from it for the day that I could wake up and be happy about a future filled with so much unknown but also so many possibilities. It feels amazing.
Will I succumb to fear about my endless possibilities but somewhat unknown future? Probably. However, I know that although those feelings may be natural, they are not real. Faith is real. Fear is just a way to keep my false self alive, and that heiffah must die. Lol.
Be well. Be happy.
Sharing is Caring
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” - Steve Jobs
Will I succumb to fear about my endless possibilities but somewhat unknown future? Probably. However, I know that although those feelings may be natural, they are not real. Faith is real. Fear is just a way to keep my false self alive, and that heiffah must die. Lol.
Be well. Be happy.
Sharing is Caring
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” - Steve Jobs
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Replacing a Spirit of Fear with a Spirit of Faith
So it's been a while since I've written anything. For the last month, I have been battling some anxiety. I won't go into the details, but I'm getting better. Earlier this year, I made a statement that I wanted to be the type of Christian who continues to praise God no matter what I am going through. The statement "Be careful what you ask for" could not have been felt more than in this last month.
Last month, some friends and I had decided to read Max Lucado's "Fearless". I was very interested in going through the study because I have lived a life that has been driven more by my fears than my dreams when it should have been the other way around. What my life could have been if I had at least tried, I don't know. In an effort to also live this "Fearless" life, I am also trying to learn how to live in the present. There's nothing like living in fear and with regrets. It's the recipe for internal disaster. So we're making some changes ASAP.
Our biggest change is we're moving. Team Watkins is taking the show on the road, and we're making a stop in Atlanta, GA. We prayed on this, and God confirmed this decision with a sermon from our pastor on June 2nd. What I love is how we were both filled with God's peace on this decision. Like many couples, we are night and day, so to have come to the same peaceful conclusion together is a blessing in itself. God is truly the foundation for Team Watkins.
Daniel has a new job. A job that I believe with catapult him to new levels in his career. I love that my husband loves the work that he does, and I too would like to feel this love and passion. Over the next few months, I will be studying to go back to school. I'm pursing that PhD I've always wanted, but I was too afraid to even try. I came up with the excuses, and I let myself believe them. At least this time, I am going to attempt. If I am denied, I am denied, but I will have tried. Nothing beats failure like a try.
There's so much to do! We're both excited about our new endeavor and can't wait to be close to our families. That is by far the best part about all of this. I am praying to be a Proverbs 31, fearless, faithful, and loving woman. It's not easy, but I'm working on it.
Thank you Heavenly Father.
Our biggest change is we're moving. Team Watkins is taking the show on the road, and we're making a stop in Atlanta, GA. We prayed on this, and God confirmed this decision with a sermon from our pastor on June 2nd. What I love is how we were both filled with God's peace on this decision. Like many couples, we are night and day, so to have come to the same peaceful conclusion together is a blessing in itself. God is truly the foundation for Team Watkins.
Daniel has a new job. A job that I believe with catapult him to new levels in his career. I love that my husband loves the work that he does, and I too would like to feel this love and passion. Over the next few months, I will be studying to go back to school. I'm pursing that PhD I've always wanted, but I was too afraid to even try. I came up with the excuses, and I let myself believe them. At least this time, I am going to attempt. If I am denied, I am denied, but I will have tried. Nothing beats failure like a try.
There's so much to do! We're both excited about our new endeavor and can't wait to be close to our families. That is by far the best part about all of this. I am praying to be a Proverbs 31, fearless, faithful, and loving woman. It's not easy, but I'm working on it.
Thank you Heavenly Father.
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Financial Maturity (Yes We Are Moving Again)
A question many have asked me after proclaiming our Debt Free status is what are you going to do with all of that money? My first thought is all of what money? The student loan payment was only $280.61 a month. If we were to stop our plan this is all we would have added back to our monthly budget. That's not very much. As a result, we have to find money elsewhere.
Our biggest expense is our rent. I live in a building that many would agree is a really nice building. I love it. It looks more like a hotel than a rental property, and it was a great ride. See in an effort to fully gain the benefit our our new found Debt Free status, we must now become financially mature. Now, I am not saying that people who live in our building or want to live here are financially immature. In fact, I think they have made a wonderful home decision. However for us, we see it as an opportunity to find money to help us build our wealth. The maturity part comes in deciding between granite wannabe counter tops vs. actual granite counter tops, relatively new appliances vs. older appliances, tile vs. linoleum (Oh sweet Baby Jesus!), and hideous fireplaces that take up space vs. no hideous fireplaces that take up space. Sigh. We found a place. It's actually right down the street from us. It's a nice place, but it means giving up our 23rd floor view of the National Mall for a courtyard view in a garden style apartment. It's quiet, clean, and almost serene in certain parts. The problem is it's not our home; however, it helps us to walk in path of the financially mature. The apartment is $771 a month cheaper than our current apartment. That is $9,252 a year! Now, $280.61 wasn't much of an addition back to our budget but $771+$280.61=$1051.61 is. That gives us $12,619.32 a year! We found a leak, and now it's time to plug it up. Put that into an investment account at 10% (that is on the side of extreme optimism for some) for the next 40 years. Drum roll: $6.7M!!! My mind is just blown! BOOM! At 5%, which is about average, it's $1.6M. Crockpot millionaires...I'll take it. Oh imagine the good we would be able to do! Also, this is just an investment account. This doesn't include whatever other retirement/savings accounts that we will have as well. This is what financial maturity can mean for us. Our situation will probably change as I am trying to find a job that I care about which means a very probable decrease in pay, but the lifestyle change and behavior modification is the important part no matter how much money we make.
So those are two big things that we were able to do to find this additional money. It's going to be an exciting journey to find out what small things we can change as well that can help us add to this amount. I'm just excited to see all of the things that we can do to be able to do so many wonderful things in life. Not just 40 years from now, but starting in July! This is going to be a great start to that down payment on a home, saving for a kid(s), and increasing our giving at church. Amazing.
I am grateful for all of the many blessings that God has given us. Right now, I'm especially grateful for the ability to give up granite counter tops and a concierge for linoleum and $771 a month. I'm becoming financially mature, and I'll admit it less bougie. Linoleum is not the end of the world. Lol.
-Debt Slayers 2013
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Brene Brown: The Power of Vulnerability
I really enjoyed this TED Talk. I have tweeted it and shared it with friends via e-mail. I hope that anyone who stops to read my blog will enjoy it as well.
http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html
My next personal topic may be on fear. Ooh wee!
-Still Debt Free ;)
http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html
My next personal topic may be on fear. Ooh wee!
-Still Debt Free ;)
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