Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Replacing a Spirit of Fear with a Spirit of Faith

So it's been a while since I've written anything. For the last month, I have been battling some anxiety. I won't go into the details, but I'm getting better. Earlier this year, I made a statement that I wanted to be the type of Christian who continues to praise God no matter what I am going through. The statement "Be careful what you ask for" could not have been felt more than in this last month.

Last month, some friends and I had decided to read Max Lucado's "Fearless". I was very interested in going through the study because I have lived a life that has been driven more by my fears than my dreams when it should have been the other way around. What my life could have been if I had at least tried, I don't know. In an effort to also live this "Fearless" life, I am also trying to learn how to live in the present. There's nothing like living in fear and with regrets. It's the recipe for internal disaster. So we're making some changes ASAP.

Our biggest change is we're moving. Team Watkins is taking the show on the road, and we're making a stop in Atlanta, GA. We prayed on this, and God confirmed this decision with a sermon from our pastor on June 2nd. What I love is how we were both filled with God's peace on this decision. Like many couples, we are night and day, so to have come to the same peaceful conclusion together is a blessing in itself. God is truly the foundation for Team Watkins.

Daniel has a new job. A job that I believe with catapult him to new levels in his career. I love that my husband loves the work that he does, and I too would like to feel this love and passion. Over the next few months, I will be studying to go back to school. I'm pursing that PhD I've always wanted, but I was too afraid to even try. I came up with the excuses, and I let myself believe them. At least this time, I am going to attempt. If I am denied, I am denied, but I will have tried. Nothing beats failure like a try.

There's so much to do! We're both excited about our new endeavor and can't wait to be close to our families. That is by far the best part about all of this. I am praying to be a Proverbs 31, fearless, faithful, and loving woman. It's not easy, but I'm working on it.

Thank you Heavenly Father.